LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
When I knew |
A Sampling Feature Editor's note: Borrowing on one of the most popular books in gay bookstores, the gorgeous, funny and beautifully designed coffee table book called When I Knew, we are asking some of our readers the same question: When did you suspect, know or come out to yourself as gay? Growing up there were little things that made me aware that I was different, such as the Shaun Cassidy album I carried around with me because I was so in love with him and we were going to get married. Then a neighborhood kid asked my Mom, "Why is Greg always Batgirl when we play?" Finally, in 6th grade, some kids started calling me "faggot" and "queer." I went home and looked the words up because I had no idea what they meant. I'll never forget that moment of self-discovery. "Wow, I thought, I'm a homosexual." But it felt so right; I never fought it, never denied it, never tried to change myself. Years later I realized I was born this way for a reason. Greg Maxwell, York, PA Oh, I knew in college, because I really, really, really liked my roommate, but I was a good little girl, so I didn't think about it and I got married, but when we'd watch dirty movies, I liked the girls better. Then I knew. Joan Glass, Rehoboth Beach When I was fifteen, I watched Cabaret onthe family's brand new Betamax...about fifty times. My parents thought perhaps I had a crush on Liza Minnelli. The truth is, I wanted to "be" Liza Minnelli. Anonymous Show Queen, Washington, DC I guess I knew really when I was five years old. I remember telling my cousin, as I was crying, that I didn't want to be gay. I finally accepted it when I was about 17 when I was more interested in the new Stephen Sondheim show than the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit edition. John Zakibe, St. Louis, MO My tendency to fall in love with leading ladies began in elementary school. For reasons unknown to my seven-year-old self, Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins made me blush uncontrollably. I did not name my feelings until I was 21 years old, during rehearsal for the staff production of Godspell at a YMCA camp. While waiting in the wings for my cue, I realized I couldn't take my eyes off the curvy soprano on stage. After she gave a dirty look for perhaps staring a little too long, I began to slowly, painstakingly put the pieces together: Straight women wanted to be that girl with the fantastic voice. I, on the other hand, wanted to marry her. I often tell people that it was a combination of show tunes and the YMCA that made me a lesbian. Kelley Oram, Millsboro, by way of Syracuse, NY E-mail your memories to campoutreho@aol.com. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 16, No. 4 May 5, 2006 |