No capsule seems to capture the essence of the French soul as much as "Vive la difference." It's a phrase that suggests acceptance, openness, tolerance. It evokes images of Maurice Chevalier, gray haired, dapper, cane in hand, strolling a Paris street singing, "Thank Heaven for Little Girls." The movie was Gigi, and if you remember the flick then you too are either in the gray group, or close to it. Neither gratitude for little girls nor appreciation of "la Difference" are universal sentiments in the gay community. But it seems as if "la Difference" may be less than we think.
The New York Times Science Section in early January published a conversation with Anne Fausto-Sterling, a professor of biology and women's studies at Brown University, on "Exploring What Makes Us Male or Female." Her academic focus applies ideas about gender roles to the formal study of biology. She says, "When people say 'it's nurture' or 'it's nature' in making us male or female, I take the middle ground and say that it's a combination of both....that's not a popular position to take in today's academic environment, but it's the one that makes the most sense."
A significant part of her study is of "intersexuals," individuals born with ambiguous genitalia. Her research estimates that 1 1/2 to 2% of all births do not fall strictly within the tight definition of all male or all female, even if the child looks that way. Beyond having a mixed set of genitals, you could have an individual with an extra Y chromosome."
"Or you could have someone who was XO, a female with underdeveloped ovaries...my point is that there's greater human variation than supposed. My political point is that we can afford to lighten up about what it means to be male or female. We should definitely lighten up on those who fall in between because there are a lot of them."
The Times interviewer asked Dr. Fausto-Sterling why there is a tendency among gays to embrace a genetic explanation of homosexuality and her response is thought provoking:
"It's a popular idea with gay men. Less so with gay women. That may be because the genesis of homosexuality appears to be different for men than women. I think gay men also face a particularly difficult psychological situation because they are seen as embracing something hated in our culturethe feminineand so they'd better come up with a good reason for what they are doing.
Gay women, on the other hand, are seen as, rightly or wrongly, embracing something our culture values highlymasculinity. Now that whole analysis that gay men are feminine and gay women are masculine is itself open to big question, but it provides a cop-out and an area of relief. You know, "It's not my fault, you have to love me anyway."
It provides the disapproving relatives with an excuse: "It's not my fault. I didn't raise 'em wrong." It provides a legal argument that is, at the moment, having some sway in court. For me, it's a very shaky place. It's bad science and bad politics.
The biology here is poorly understood. The best controlled studies performed to measure genetic contributions to homosexuality say that 50% of what goes into making a person homosexual is genetic. That means 50% is not. And while everyone is excited about genes, we are clueless about the equally important nongenetic contributions."
If you're interested in following some of these ideas further, Dr Fausto-Sterling has a new book out, Sexing the Body: Gender Politics and the Construction of Sexuality.
Coincidentally, the same Science Section also featured the work of Dr. Linda Bartoshuk, a Yale University Medical School psychologist and an expert on taste perception. She should have been employed as the consultant for the episode of Sex In The City when the four super-urbane female fast trackers enjoyed a supposedly sophisticated lunch discussing the taste of their partner's cum. Lunch, or locker room, I was grossed out and thought shock TV hit a new low in tastelessness. (Yes, pun intended.)
Dr. Bartoshuk has documented what most of us already realize"One man's pain may be another man's twinge." The end result is that many medical and psychological studies that depend on subjective rating scales of pain, or hunger, or taste, etc. are of limited value. According to her research there are three different types of tasters: supertasters, medium tasters and nontasters. There are, in fact, genetic differences in taste perception and differences in the density of taste buds on the tongues of members of the three groups. Supertasters live in a much more intense taste world than medium tasters or nontasters. Perhaps the Sex in the City gals are genetically challenged and aren't equal opportunity tasters.
What seemed important to me, in digesting these two articles over a morning cup of coffee, is that if density of taste buds is genetically different, if the origins of male homosexuality differ from those of female homosexuality, if 1 1/2 to 2% of all births do not fall within a strict definition of all male or all female, then Dr. Fausto-Sterling is right. We need to "lighten up" a bit, or a lot, and appreciate the gray zones of life as well as the gay.
The gay community may be "home", but it's not homogenized." We're a heterogeneous collection and we each, and all, have our pet peeves, our prejudices, our sub-group put-downs. Many of mine are typical of my generation and so I read with uncomfortable self-recognition Rabbi Greg Kanter's "New Year's Dedication to Our Community" in the Fort Lauderdale Express. It's written in the style of a liturgy and a few excerpts will make the point:
"As the New Year begins, let us give thanks:
For the drag queens who are so outrageous, they draw attention to us when society thought it could get away with ignoring us and discarding us, let us give thanks.
For the dykes on bikes who lead our parades and dare to challenge conventional ideas about gender, let us be grateful.
For the members of ACT-UP and GUARD who refuse to take no for an answer, whose courage brings treatment to those who need it and whose daring brings us closer to a cure, let us give thanks.
For the Log Cabin Republicans who demonstrate that there is more than one way to be gay and political, let us give thanks.
For the bears that prove that beauty does not have to come in a cookie cutter reflection of ancient Greek statues, let us be grateful.
For the seniors who paved the way for most of us, who lived gay and lesbian lives in times many of us can hardly imagine, who created a history that bolsters all of us, even those of us who aren't aware of our pioneers, let us give thanks.
For the artists and hairdressers and mechanics and teachers and clergy and dancers and bartenders;
For the leaders and followers who remind us that stereotypes are created by outsiders and that real people are three dimensional human beings with hearts that beat.
Let us be thankful."
Yes, often the difference between us is greater than the commonality that binds us. Let us give thanks for 'la Difference."
John Siegfried, a retired association executive, resides in Rehoboth Beach.
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 11, No. 2, Mar. 9, 2001