LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
CAMP Safe |
by Sal Seeley |
I'm Getting Ready for Santa to Visit This time of year, I count myself as one of the many men who have visions not just of sugar plum fairies, but of Santa coming down the chimney. Well, you can't blame me! What bear cub doesn't like furry guys who come down the chimney and deliver presents? Maybe that's my type, older furry guys. Whatever your type, however, many younger men like a little maturity in their guys. There is a growing trend among some younger (legal aged) gay men getting together and dating men who are about fifteen to twenty years older. I have seen the looks among friends who notice younger guys with older men. I have also overheard the accusations of friends who just think they are after a "Daddy" for money. They have it wrong. There are definitely special bonds that can be created among men who like inter-generational love. What I am concerned about is the level of risk among younger men and older men in sexual relationships. The "dark" side of these relationships is that many begin to practice unprotected sex. We all have read the reports that younger guys are not using condoms because they may not have experienced the loss of the friends to HIV or are willing to take the risk because they know there are treatments available. However, have you heard that older men who lived through the AIDS epidemic are now taking the same risks. I have found that many mature gay men are tired of having to be safe all the time and believe that since they have come this far in their lives by staying negativethey can take some chances. Combine this attitude together with the malaise of younger men and we have a recipe for disaster. Younger guys infecting older guys or older guys are infecting younger guys. Two groups of men who think they are invincible to HIV but because of different reasons. I have heard from many older gay men that they have nothing in common with younger gay men and don't feel connected. Yes, I will admit that there is ageism in our community but what can tie us together is our practice of playing safe. Intergenerational relationships can be very exciting and very rewarding. They can be very satisfying and also at the same time be very confusing. Protecting each other from HIV/STDS and playing safe in a new relationship is something both younger and older gay men should be united on. By protecting themselves, they will be able to grow old in a healthy manner. So, when Santa visits me this year, not only will he have his choice of cookies but also some other options that will keep not only him safe but me. If you need a Santa in your life or want someone to sit on your lap take a chance and give it a try. Not all of us twinkies bite (well, maybe I'm not that much of a twinkie anymore). Just remember to play safe so both of you can have a jolly good time. Sal Seeley is Program Director of CAMPsafe, an HIV/AIDS program funded through a contract with the Delaware Division of Public Health. E-mail salvatoreseeley@aol.com. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 17, No. 15 November 21, 2007 |