by Marge Tolchin
Compared to most folks, I watch very little TV. Until recently, I just didnt seek it out as a leisure activity because who had enough spare time to simply sit and view? With what little time I did have, I preferred more interactive sorts of things. Ive lived this way fairly happily for thirty years or so, having given away my B & W TV in the early 1970s.
But now, the kids are grown and goneI no longer feel the need to set an example. Im not in school anymoreI didnt even have a concept of spare time then! Ive discovered books on tape for the carI still "read" for fun as much as I can. My usually reasonable job affords me a decent amount of financial rewardI now own a color TV, with remoteand a nice amount of leisure time. Also, I let my son (the younger one, age 25) convince me to get cable service for my Washington, DC house. I was seduced by his promise of improved access to all sorts of movies. Bet yall can guess what happened to me.
Now dont get me wrong. Im not glued to the screen for twenty-four and seven, the way some folks can get. But I do confess to seeking out that remote as an avoidance tactic or when Im a little at loose ends for what I really want to do. Ill even admit to the times that Ive watched stuff that is analogous to actually buying the tabloids, not just reading them on line. But on the other hand, I also get to enjoy campy, sexy Xena, VH1, and all the British murder mysteries I can handle. One particular afternoon, quite by accident as I was suffering from too much spare time, I discovered a curious thing: Lifetime TV"Television for Women." Bet yall can guess what happened to me then.
Its true that I got a little too involved in checking out the programming. I became mesmerized by the notion of a whole TV channel devoted to women! Imagine!! Women-only space on national TV!!! Well, I kept watching and watching, waiting to see some sort of representation of the kind of women I think of when I think of women. It never really happened but finally, finally, I got to see something that was close enough. I got to see a Made-for-Lifetime-movie that presented the story of Allen Shindler, Jr.s mom and her battle to bring her sons murderers to justice.
Shindler, you may recall, was an enlisted man in the Navy who was beaten to death by two of his shipmates for being gay. He was not quite 23 years old when he died. I had seen his Mom speak to a huge, loving crowd of lesbians and gay folks shortly after his killers had been sentenced and had wept openly for her loss. As the mother of a gay son [my older one, age 31, as of last week], I cant fathom how one survives that grief. Also, imagine the jolt to my 70s TV consciousness that the topic had even made it to the small screen in my living room! The cast was impressive as well, with Bonnie Bedelia as Mom and Sada Thompson as Grandma; sorry, I didnt catch the names of the other competent actors.
ANY MOTHERS SON gives us a chance to follow the transformation of Shindlers entire working class, God-fearing (Catholic, I believe), red-neck family as they learn of his murder, the probable reason for his beating, and the Navys attempted cover-up. Mom starts out being shocked and horrified that her much-loved son is suspected of being gay and struggles with lots of familiar stereotypes and internalized homophobia. In fact, her initial efforts to pressure the Navy into holding hearings about the incident are to have his name cleared of these awful allegations. An Army reporter breaks the story in the military press and, as the story makes its way into the mainstream press, the Navy is forced to investigate and prosecute. When Allens private journal makes its into Moms hands, she is no longer willing to tolerate all the bureaucratic delays and soft soap excuses for not prosecuting her sons killers to the fullest extent of the law.
Conversations between Allens younger, straight sister, who is very evolved about gay issues and her Neanderthal non-custodial father, his sister (her aunt), her maternal grandparents and assorted cousins provide a comfortable but not-too-creative way for the film makers to showcase the predictable family discussion: how-DID-he-get-that-way-anyhow? Unrealistically, Grandma comes around pretty quickly when she learns that the rumors are true; one minute shes worrying about God and damnation and chastising her daughter for making her grandson "that way," and the next, shes encouraging Mom to get the Navy to do the right thing. We watch the pained expressions of the other family members as they sit glued to the actual coverage from "20/20," listening to straight sailors confirm to reporters that these things happen all the time in the Navy. We watch the relatives finally get it. Mom travels to Japan to attend the second hearing and listens to the coroner testify about the severity of her sons injuries, which were "...more like those seen in a car crash... not a beating." We get to witness another woman getting radicalized. The assailant is sentenced to life and will be eligible for parole in the year 2002.
This film is not without its serious shortcomings. In addition to the utilization of many obvious and overused devices (the very evolved straight sister and Grandmas quickie conversion), we have Moms inconsistent, stereotyped, red-neck grammar problem. Sometimes we "didnt get no double negatives" for several scenes and then we "gots lots." But my biggest problem with this flick is the time-weary, sometimes-not-too-subtle message to women, on their very own channel, no less: BE NICE. Heres how it went: Allens Mom and his killers Mom exchange deep, long, pain-wracked, intense stares, complete with almost imperceptible head-nods. We, the viewers, just intuitively know that they understand and forgive each other, woman to woman. Mom asks to speak with her childs murderer after the verdict and all she says to him is, "Why?" Oh, please!
While it is true that I am thrilled to see that lesbian/gay themes have made their long-awaited arrival to mainstream TV, I am saddened to note that, based on this viewing, at least, it seems that the real job for the 90s woman is still very much the same as what I remember in the 70s. If this is "television for women," then count me out...again. I much prefer the woman who, in real life, having never knowingly met a queer person before and having no public speaking experience, toured the country to speak at various Pride events. I much prefer the woman who is, in real life, already circulating petitions to make sure her sons killer is denied parole. None of the physical, mental and moral strength that these endeavors must demand was seen in the film.
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9/19/97 Issue. Copyright 1997 by CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. All rights reserved.