LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
Out and About in Delaware's State Parks |
by Stephen Schilly |
A Gift
I love this time of year! The crisp cool days, colorful autumn leaves and nights by a warm fire. These are all happy memories from years past. Among my fondest memories are of the times spent with friends and family over the holiday season. I often recall my mother and the many things she did to make this special time of year magical for my brothers, sister and me. No doubt, much of my fondness for this season is a result of all the love and care she lavished on all of us. Despite her intense love of the holidays, they were also somewhat bittersweet for my mother. Something about the season would inevitably conjure memories of special friends and loved ones who had passed on. I can recall a number of times I found her alone by the fire softly crying. She tried to explain to me this wasn't a "bad" thing. These reminiscences of loved ones were an important part of her holidays. As a child I could not quite grasp the meaning of this. As an adult, however, I now find myself doing much the same thing. Recently, my thoughts have been of my 95 year old grandmother. Blessed with amazingly good health her entire life, this past couple years of serious illness have been quite a shock for all our family. She has always been a remarkable woman and an important influence on my life. I have many special memories, but one will remain with me the rest of my life. It was six years ago, on the eve of my mother's funeral. Family had been pouring in all day from across the country. My partner, Bob, and I had only started dating a few months earlier. Few family members knew for certain I was "gay." While many, no doubt had their suspicions, at that point I had only confirmed my sexuality with my immediate family members. Wanting Bob's support through the difficult time, I decided it was now or never to address the issue with the other family members. Throughout the day, I had discussed the topic with relatives as they arrived. It was an awkward but necessary process. While everyone in the family seemed to accept the news without a problem, it was my 90 year old grandmother who turned out to be the most supportive of all. She couldn't wait to meet Bob. She insisted he be brought to meet her as soon as he arrived that evening. I will never forget that night. With my parent's house overflowing with family, my grandmother, Bob and I were to spend the night at the nearby country club guest housean historic southern style mansion. Bob arrived around eight o'clock and I quickly informed him of the day's developments. I know he thought I was "nuts!" Without a doubt, he had to be wondering how and why he had gotten involved in all of this. To his credit, he hung in there with me. First he was subjected to meeting my extended familymy dad, brothers, sister, their spouses, children and assorted aunts and uncles. After a rather uncomfortable hour for Bob, we headed for the guest house. It was all very surreal entering this historic mansion full of all the trappings of a bygone era. We proceeded to my grandmother's room where she greeted us at the door. There she stood, this diminutive woman, the essence of sophistication and class beaming from ear to ear. She took each of us by the hand and without hesitation told us how happy she was that we had "found each other." She drew us into her room where we sat and talked the night away. The drama of the moment and the unique setting of the mansion made it feel like a scene from a movie. I'm not sure if she understood how special that moment was for Bob and me. She gave us a gift that evening that could never be surpassed...her acceptance and love. It's a gift we will treasure the rest of our lives. Reflections For more than 25 years, I have had the good fortune to work for the Delaware Division of Parks and Recreation. It has been my home, family and friend. It's hard for me to imagine the nave college graduate who started on this quarter century adventure. I was energetic, ambitious, and idealistic without the slightest clue how to get started on my chosen career path. It was a call from my mother that set the stage for that first interview that got my foot in the door. Much to my parents' horror, their college graduate son was hired on as custodial foreman! They couldn't understand what I was doing and immediately offered to send me back to college for another degree. I couldn't have been happier and was off and running in my career. Fortunately for my parents' peace of mind, I found myself promoted very quickly to more responsible positionsAssistant Superintendent, Park Superintendent, and Park Operations Administrator. It has been an amazing career! I have had the opportunity to devote my energies to a profession that I love dearly. What an honor to be entrusted with the care and maintenance of such a fascinating array of natural and cultural resources! It is a very humbling experience. Along the way, I have had the friendship and support of a special group of talented co-workers. Early on in my career, they allowed me the space to make mistakesto learn and to grow. Their patience and support helped form the person I am today. Most of all they accepted me for who I was, not for who they might have wanted me to be. I am especially grateful to our Director, Chazz Salkin. He has always been a friend and mentor throughout my career. This exceptional man has provided the leadership that guides our Division today. His standards are high and he challenges all our staff to strive to be the best. He is passionate about our parks and is firmly committed to ensuring they are available to all individuals regardless of difference. His support and encouragement allowed me to take on the special project of writing this on-going column for Letters. He understood the value of this project for me personally, as well as the Division. He is a true asset to this state and friend to the community. Final Thoughts This is my final column for Letters! As I mentioned in previous articles, my partner, Bob, and I are relocating to our new home in Florida. Bob has recently been hired at a nearby University and will start in late December. My plans are somewhat up in the air. I'll be retiring from Delaware State Parks in early December. Once down there, I'll start looking for a job. I don't like being idle. Hopefully, it won't take me too long to find something I'll enjoy. When I wrote my first article four years ago, I never dreamed it would develop into an on-going column. Throughout my career, I never had much confidence in my writing ability. Being the author of an on-going column was simply inconceivable to me. I want to thank everyone in my Division who supported and encouraged the project. In particular I want to thank Pat Darlin, Linda VanSant, and Lori Burchett who have been my litmus test on the quality of my articles. If I received their "thumbs up," I then had the confidence to submit the articles for publication. I especially want to thank our Director Chazz Salkin. His encouragement and editorial comments helped to make the most of what I wrote. I want to thank the staff of Camp Rehoboth for providing me this wonderful opportunity. It has been a richly rewarding experience for me. Finally, I want to thank you, the readers. Your supportive emails and comments have meant a great deal to me over the past four years. I hope the information I provided has been useful to you all. Our State Parks are incredible resources. I hope you take the opportunity to explore them fully. You will not regret it! Best wishes! |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 15, No. 15 November 23, 2005 |