LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
CAMP Safe |
| by Sal Seeley LCSW |
| Two Tongues are Better than One
I saw him standing in the corner. I knew that I had to get to know him. He had the look that I liked and I could tell he was very comfortable in his own skin. My type can vary on the drop of a dime but my favorite is tattooed, pierced, and dark Italian men. You could definitely tell that he marched to the beat of his own drum. I think that was part of the attraction. I finally got up the courage to talk to him. He had gotten into body modifications in his twenties and now had several. After talking for a bit about tattoos and piercings, he showed me a few. He had done some of them on his own and was particularly proud of those. The next thing I knew he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue at me! I had to take a second look because I swore he had two tongues instead of one. He said that he had gotten up enough courage a few years ago and decided to split his tongue. I have to admit it was pretty interesting and you can only imagine how the conversation progressed. He got a call on his cell and had to leave for awhile. After he left, I began thinking about gay men and our body/self-image issues and how that related to risk taking especially with regard to sex. My new friend was obviously comfortable enough with himself to make such extreme changes to his body. For many of us it takes a long time to get to a point where we can look in the mirror and not start a sentence with "If only I were slim/muscled/skinny..." The reality is that for many of us that isn't going to happen. Often, someone who makes us feel sexy in that moment, says something we want to hear, and at that point all rational thinking goes out the window. We want to make that connection regardless of how risky is might be. Getting to a point where you can look in the mirror and accept yourself is a good start to being happier. Our bodies are awesome machines of love and pleasure, and expressing that should be encouraged. It is when we don't respect our bodies that we often take risks might cause us harm. It doesn't matter what anyone else says to you about your being handsome, sexy, or attractive. Until you can look in the mirror and see the spark in yourself, you won't believe it. That's the lesson my two-tongued friend taught me that eveningbe whoever you want to be. Eventually he came back and we began chatting again. I won't go into details, but I can tell you thistwo tongues are better than one! Sal Seeley is Program Director of CAMPsafe, an HIV/AIDS program funded through a contract with the Delaware Division of Public Health. E-mail salvatoreseeley@aol.com. Confidential HIV testing is available at CAMP Rehoboth. Call Sal at 302-227-5620 to schedule an appointment. |
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LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 18, No. 09 July 11, 2008 |