LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
Gay 'n Gray: Preying Priests |
by John Siegfried |
The press is having a field day with the exposure of pedophilia in the Catholic Church which the Church in recent decades has tolerated in silence. It's the juiciest sex topic they've had to chew on since Clinton left office. But while the Clinton scandals brought snickers and sneers, the current debacle brings only sadness. Sexually abused children, as a subject of humor, would be hard for even Letterman or Leno to tackle. The Church, with its piety and pomposity, however, is fair game for cartoons and snide remarks daily. The best I've seen was a New York Times op-ed piece under the title "Let Us Prey" with a graphic of a priest with arms outstretched. The Sun-Sentinel here in Fort Lauderdale recently had a cartoon depicting a collection box at the rear of the church marked "Bishop's Sexual Abuse Legal Defense Fund." One parishioner asked the other, "Is that a faith based initiative?" That's a particularly pertinent jab in South Florida where the Bishop recently resigned because of inappropriate touching of an adolescent seminarian more than twenty years ago. They went to bed naked in what the Bishop considered a variation of Masters and Johnson's sex therapy, which was in vogue at the time. Ironically, the departing Bishop was appointed to the South Florida Bishopric just three years ago when his predecessor departed under similar seminal sexual circumstances (yes, pun intended). I love that word, "Bishopric," though I must confess, I've never seen one. Catholics, however, are hardly alone in this dilemma. A Boca Raton rabbi in charge of youth ministries at a prominent synagogue was recently sentenced having been caught soliciting sex with a male minor on the Internet. The cantor at prestigious Temple Emanuel in New York City is currently under investigation for a sexual relationship with his underage nephew. A Baptist minister was arrested last week for having sex with a seventeen-year old male in the back of his van parked on a Miami street. The Baptist and the Boca rabbi, not confined to celibacy, had a wife and children to endure the ordeal and notoriety with them. And arrests in "Operation Candyman," an FBI operation against an Internet-based child pornography ring so far include two priests, six other clergy, a school bus driver and at least one police officer. To see child sexual abuse and exploitation as a "Catholic thing" is to wear blinders. While a few press reports have carefully delineated the difference between pedophilia and homosexuality, most have not. It's unclear whether those accused are pedophiles, or latently gay individuals taking advantage of their position of power, or overtly gay men hiding behind institutional skirts or heterosexual men chafing under the bonds of celibacy. Either way the scandals inevitably cast a shadow over the entire gay community and fuel the fantasy of those who see gays as "recruiting" minors to join the club. The reality of course is that the largest proportion of abuse and of adult-teen sex is heterosexual. By legal definition I was sexually abused as an adolescent, but I never considered it abuse. I was fourteen, then fifteen, then sixteen, and I eagerly awaited the annual visit of my older friend, Bill, who shared my double bed every May on his pilgrimage to a local music festival. Many other gay men have had similar adolescent sexual experiences, which they see as positive. In a study published several years ago in the Journal of the American Psychological Association, the majority of the study group who had had sex as adolescents with adults saw the experience as neutral or positive. The minority experienced it as harmful. I was wired to be gay long before I ever met Bill, and my sexual initiation through him was warm, loving and consensual, though illegal. For those who have had similar positive experiences it may be hard to grasp the confusion, horror, and pain from the same scenario if, in fact, you're wired to be straight and the adult is your priest, doctor, teacher, or other adult of authority and stature. However one is wired, would you want sexual exploitation and abuse for your brother, sister or child? Even if the outcome of adolescent sex with an older adult partner leaves no scarsand all current news reports indicate that for many the scars are deep, and permanentit's still illegal, and it's wrong. Children and adolescents have neither the experience nor the maturity to make informed decisions when hormone levels and other physiologic markers rise. Many adults don't either. Lots of kids drive before sixteen, drink before eighteen, and screw before maturity, but the individual and society pay a high price for immature behavior. Until now we've had the luxury of seeing pedophilia as a rare and sporadic event, but thanks to the "preying priests" it's apparent that pedophilia is a pervasive problem that has thrived on silence. Hopefully, breaking the silence will be the start of both prevention and of healing. Gay or straight, kids need our protection, not our exploitation. John Siegfried is a retired pediatrician and a retired pharmaceutical executive. He resides in Fort Lauderdale but retains strong ties to Rehoboth Beach. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 12, No. 03, April 5, 2002 |