LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
The Gospel According to Marc: |
by Marc Acito |
Weighty MattersMore Thoughts on Living Large Since announcing I lost 60 pounds I've been deluged with people asking for weight-loss advice. Suddenly I'm more popular than a porn star at a game of strip poker. But a large number of even larger people have accused me of being fat-phobic. Some bears even growled at me during Gay Pride. I understand that some people find it impossible to slim down, just as some people can eat a can of frosting every day for breakfast and still look like a concentration camp victim. But I am neither. What I am is the kind of person who lies to himself. I may reside in Oregon, but I live in a state of denial. For instance, despite being 5'9" since I was 14, it was only last year that I stopped justifying second helpings by saying, "It's okay, Marco, you're a growing boy." Yeah, width-wise perhaps. Apparently I'm not alone. A 1992 study done at St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital in New York showed via urine analysis that subjects under-reported how much they'd eaten by half. That's right, half. In a culture where it costs just pennies to Super Size your fast food, we've forgotten what constitutes a normal portion anymore. Even healthy eaters are susceptible to overeating, as witnessed by the fact that every time Floyd and I have vegans over they clean out every cookie in the house. And just try ordering a low-fat sandwich at Subwaythe clerk will cheerfully offer you such well-known diet staples as cheese, mayonnaise, oil, olives and chips. A boy could gain a dress size trying to lose weight at Subway. What finally motivated me to take control of my weight was the "Who would play me in the movie?" game. While I sat trying to choose between Robert Downey, Jr. and Matthew Broderick my friends came to a swift and unanimous conclusion: Nathan Lane. I was on the treadmill the next morning at 6. "How did this happen?" I panted to Floyd. "I thought I was the slender wacky guy, not the pudgy one." "Nah, you're more of a roly-poly type," he said, "y'know, like Harvey Fierstein." I narrowed my eyes at him. "You don't ever want to have sex again, do you?" In my usual obsessive-compulsive way I researched the various diets and discovered you're better off eating the books than reading them. Basically they all say the same thing: reduce calories. If you'd like to reduce them in an informed, sensible manner I recommend you read A Business Plan for the Body. I did and I'm pleased to say, that after 20 years of yo-yo dieting, it worked. But then something else happened. You see, while my motivation had been my pathetically fragile sense of ego, I started to notice I was feeling better. A lot better. In the same way I had convinced myself that chocolate was a protein because it came from beans, I'd also convinced myself that chafing thighs were a normal consequence of taking a brisk walk. What's alarming to me is that other people didn't think of me as overweight partly, I'm sure, because I hadn't tucked my shirt in for five years, but also because we seem to have lost perspective as to what a normal weight is. If you'd like to know how much of a strain being 60 pounds overweight can be, go into a gym and pick up a 60-pound dumbbell. Now bend over. Now stand up. Now call your chiropractor. You growling bears and the like argue rightly that genetics play a part in determining weight. Of course. If your parents are naturally substantial in size then Robert Downey, Jr. or Matthew Broderick probably aren't going to play you in the movie. But that doesn't explain why Americans are over ten pounds heavier now than we were 20 years ago. And gaining. Resisting that second portion is an enormously difficult challenge. I knowI was the pudgy wacky guy. And if you're not ready to, or simply don't want to, I understand and respect that. But if, like me, you've grown thick and tired, I'm convinced you can make a lasting change. If I can do it, anyone can. And that, my friends, is The Gospel According to Marc. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 12, No. 10, July 26, 2002. |