Hair Today, Gone for a While!

The faces on the folks watching the What’s the Buzz event at the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center last Sunday morning told the tale. With gritted teeth, apprehensive looks and pretty much abject amazement, they watched my mate Bonnie and four other courageous souls get their heads shaved to raise funds and awareness for Team Ted and the ALS Association. 

The team’s Ted is Ted Pokorny and his wonderful wife Jo. They have long supported Rehoboth causes large and small, so when Ted was diagnosed with Lou Gherig’s Disease—or ALS—their Rehoboth friends joined the fight.

In addition to our friend Ted—and our friend Joe McNally who is also battling this illness—Bonnie’s mom succumbed to the horrid illness, and one of our New York writer friends, Bob Smith, is courageously fighting it, too. So Bonnie joined the team.

The Buzz event was staged by Kenny Mahan and Bill Quinn (both buzzees) and we’d been raising funds and looking forward to the day for weeks.

Come Sunday morning at the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center, the participants and peanut gallery gathered for the buzz off. Yes, it was shear madness.

Bryan Hecksher of Auto Gallery was the first to get the buzz, and his new bowling ball hairdo must have suited him, because he suddenly became all show biz, taking charge of the stage and beckoning Bonnie to be next. Up she went, and Bryan himself grabbed the scissors and went to work. Now I realized all her hair was eventually going to go, but it was still a little scary seeing a used car salesman, albeit an incredibly honest one, chopping away at my wife’s locks.

After doing a bit of a comedy routine, Bryan relinquished the shears to Shannon Harris of Revelations Salon who had volunteered her time for the event. Within minutes, Bonnie’s hairdo was down to a frightening Mullet. Good God, don’t stop there! Bald is better!

Sure enough, next came the clippers and Bonnie, known for clipping a Schnauzer or two in her day, was getting the same kind of treatment. Canines from Milton to Millsboro could be heard snickering. From the Mullet, the hairdo degenerated into a kind of a Dykes on Bikes cut and emcee Hecksher quipped, “Next thing you know she’ll be dressed in leather at the Double L!”

The final stage was a Mohawk, followed by complete baldness and the ear jokes. Bonnie is fond of saying that her ears stick out and from the back she looks like a Volkswagen with the doors open. She muttered that under her breath and I repeated it out loud and got booed! 

“No, it’s true,” Bonnie said.

“Leave Mr. Spock alone!” answered comic Hecksher.

Pretty soon it was done. Bonnie’s fear of revealing a lumpy head did not come to pass, and the buzz cut looked great—well, her head was bright white compared to her tanned face, and pretty much looked like it would glow in the dark, but otherwise the close shave looked good on her.

As Bonnie stepped from the chair, some of my former friends, including my formerly much-loved state representative started chanting, “Fay! Fay! Fay!” I ran outside so quickly I almost landed in the courtyard foliage. 

“I’ve never seen her move so fast in her life!” said Rep. Schwartzkopf.

I escaped for two reasons. First, this was Bonnie’s gig. (Stop groaning and calling this an excuse!). She deserved the spotlight for her courage and commitment to the cause. 

And second, I’m a complete chicken shit. There, I admit it. For me, this was a close shave!

I have to say, that Bryan and Kenny looked excellent as baldies, but in truth, they didn’t have that far to go. Bill Quinn on the other hand, suggested they start mowing his voluminous grey locks with a weed whacker.

Overall, the willingness of Kenny, Bill, Bryan, Missy Mehring, and James Carfagno, to be so dedicated to Team Ted that they’d brave the buzz cut is remarkably courageous. It’s an honor to be their friend. As for my spouse, I have never been more proud of her. She’s amazing.

Our local paparazzi had a field day snapping pix of Bonnie and the others (see CAMPshots for more photos), posing with Ted and Jo, making shocked faces into the flashing cameras and making certain “What’s the Buzz” was a huge success. They raised a lot of money and will continue to raise a lot of awareness and that’s so very important.

As for my girl, I immediately found her some nice laaarge earrings, and ran to the Shirt Factory so they could make her a t-shirt saying “I Shaved My Head for ALS Awareness.” 

“Eeew,” she said later, “It’s still a little fuzzy. Here, feel.”

I rubbed her scalp and it did feel a little like the fuzzy side of Velcro. I told her we could just attach the EZ Pass to her head and all she’d have to do at toll booths was lean forward.

Later that night she realized her head was cold and said, “I wish I had an old fashioned night cap to wear to bed.”

I didn’t have to wish. I went right to the bar and made myself one.

Fay Jacobs is the author of As I Lay Frying—a Rehoboth Beach Memoir; Fried & True—Tales from Rehoboth Beach, and For Frying Out Loud—Rehoboth Beach Diaries. Photos by Julie Peters.