LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
CAMPOut: You call this living???? Yes!!!! |
by Fay Jacobs |
"We're on a five-year plan." I hear that a lot from gay and lesbian couples who weekend in Rehoboth and are contemplating a move to full-time. That's when I usually laugh and remember that Bonnie and I were on a five-year plan that turned to a five-minute plan when I got a job offer. People ask, "What's it like to live in Rehoboth 24/7?" Fantastic. Not that there aren't adjustments. So for you 5-year planners and those who might be inspired, here's my take on it. 1. After years of weekending here, leaving chores, bills and responsible adult life back in Maryland, it's a shock when all that stuff comes with you. Fighting with the HMO...what is that doing here????? Rule # 1: Spend your weekends like you did beforeat the beach, boardwalk, CAMP courtyard, whatever. Relegate chores to the time you used to spend commuting. And you can worship on Sunday morning at Our Lady of Lowe's. The trade-off is that delicious 4 p.m. Tuesday trip to the beach, running into your friends everywhere, and morning coffee with buddies you meet at the post office. Spoiled? Only in a fabulous way. 2. Gayberry, RFD has all the charm and aggravation of any small town (but much better food). While it's a joy to mingle with neighbors, shopkeepers and town movers and shakers, gossip travels faster than a boogey-boarder stung by a sea nettle. Whoever said a lie can travel half way 'round the world before the truth has its shoes on was smart. Rule #2: Don't assume what you heargood or badis true. We try to check out the mouths of the involved horses. If you hear your money ain't good enough at your once-favorite watering hole, or a certain shop or organization has a bug up its butt about gay people, check it out yourself. There's guaranteed to be less black and white and more gray than you thought, and you might encourage positive change. It sounds nave, but it works. Of course, don't expect to play hooky from work undetected. Here, everybody knows everybody else's business. But that's as good as it is bad. If you need help, everybody knows and rallies. It's a caring community. 3. We do more here, even in the winter, than we ever did in the metropolis. Rule # 3: Plan to stay busy! Everything's five minutes away. You can brunch, swim, beach, shop, hit happy hour, cook dinner (okay, go out to dinner) and still catch a movie. If you're not in AARP you can do even more. I can see two movies in the time I used to spend in line for tickets for one. It took moving to a hamlet to get me into yoga, independent films, auctions, new playwrights, winery tours and drinking beer where I know the brewer. Who has time to miss Kennedy Center, neighborhoods where we were the token lesbians or hours in beltway and bridge traffic? 4. Rule #4: Anybody who says they haven't gotten into "the community" hasn't asked for help. While Bonnie and I have never been invited to those outrageous drag-themed house parties you read about, or danced all night at the Renegade, we've met lots of wonderful people. If Rehoboth is cliquey, there's a clique for everybody. We've got sub-cultures within sub-cultures. Among our larger gay community there's a whole contingent of antique fanatics, animal welfare activists, people in book clubs, disabled gays, golf-obsessed girls, lipstick lesbians, hearing-impaired people, S&M devotees, people who love Enya (why???), artists' collectives, musicians, karaoke queens and more. There are even gay Republicans. I've seen people move here knowing no one, and after a phone call or two, they are up to their armpits volunteering, attending free support groups which produce social connections and advising the next new arrivals on how to get involved (Still sitting home? E-mail CampoutReho@aol.com and we'll point you in the right direction). Corollary to Rule #4 is Rule # 4A: Just show up. It annoys me when I hear people surmise that CAMP or its Community Center Advisory Committee is an exclusive club. Phooey. I know several committee members, whose major qualification, in addition to being energetic and interested, is that they just showed up after reading an ad calling for members in Letters. In fact, with Sundance (CAMP Rehoboth's largest annual fundraiser) coming up on Labor Day weekend, now is a GREAT time to just show up to help. Call 302-227-5620 to volunteer! 5. I'm fearless. Even if you never realized you were nervous about people peering over your shoulder at ATMs and strangers' footsteps gaining on you from behind on Capitol Hill or at Redding Market, you'll feel the total absence of that fear in Rehoboth. Not only can you luxuriate over a romantic dinner with your sweetie at all the local eateries, and have your same-genderness seem positively ho-hum, but your car radio is safe in the street while you're doing it. Rule # 5: Relax and enjoy yourself. Even if you never felt threatened by street crime or gay bashing "back home," the absence of it here is palpable. The worst crime I've been party to was the discovery of a squatter in my condo one winter. I never saw the culprit, but there were t-shirts left behind and a great deal of toilet paper missing. Squatter, indeed. 6. Rule # 6: Don't believe the myth "it costs less to live here." Ha! Okay, taxes are lower and you won't need corporate drag anymore. But you're not going to switch from dining out on Pad Thai and Chilean Sea Bass to staying home with Rice-a-Roni and tuna surprise. If you lived like Will or Grace before, you won't be Fred or Ethel Mertz here. And we certainly can't look to the Salvation Army any more for help! But you can maximize your buckespecially off-season. Between half-price noodle nights and diner dinners, our restaurants cater to locals. You can stuff yourself on the cheap all winter and live off the fat when the prices go back up in June. (I know, I look like I practice what I preach.) There are locals nights at the movies and a staggering number of free activities, like gallery openings, film previews, the boardwalk as exercise track, and free band concerts. And that's a good thing, because Rule #6a is: Don't plan on making much money here. Congrats to those of you retiring here, but for us working stiffs, unless you telecommute to corporate headquarters, become a gastroenterologist, or reach the zillion dollar club in real estate, you'll need overdraft protection. Careers in Rehoboth mean more fun, more free time, more job satisfaction, less commute, less clothes, less stress, and less money. But it's a fantastic trade-off. 7. And finally, Rule # 7: Never underestimate the value of zip-loc bags. This is the beach. It's wet. There's salt spray in the air. Put a towel outside to dry and it gets wetter; Put metal hangers in the closet and your clothes rust; put chips in a bowl fifteen minutes before company comes and you'll understand the true origins of Limp Biskit. Not only do we need safe sex around here, but latex protection is a good idea for an open bag of Doritos. On the other hand, when the ocean breeze comes along, there's absolutely nothing like it. All in all, besides asking Bonnie out for an iced-tea in 1982, moving to Rehoboth is the best decision I ever made. We love it here. Of course, we could use a good dry cleaners, gourmet Chinese food, and a shoemaker. But then we'd really be spoiled. So, what are you all waiting for???? Call the movers! Fay Jacobs, a national award winning columnist, is a regular contributor to Letters from CAMP Rehoboth. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 11, No. 12, August 24, 2001. |