LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
CAMPTalk: The Queen's English |
by Bill Sievert |
It's a no-brainer that the edgy infomercial asking the disenfranchised to ramp up support for a most unique faith-based initiative would be a wake-up call to those whose functionality has been diminished in the wake of 9-11. Say what, dude? If the previous paragraphs annoy you, they should. But don't stop reading, at least until we "segue" into their purpose. Almost every word comes from this year's list of banished terms and phrases, language that according to its compilers at Lake Superior State University in Michigan should be expelled from "the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness." Being that our readership includes so many queens, we felt obliged to pass along highlights from the 27th annual list (and some entries from earlier years, as well). Finalists for the list are chosen by a college committee, based on hundreds of nominations received by mail and over the Internet. (You, too, may cast out your most despised expression at www.Issu.edu/banished.) Particularly offensive is the use in advertising of the expressions "most unique" and "totally unique." Quite simply, unique means one-of-a-kind, not sort of nicer than the similar one down the street. There are plenty of absurd redundancies on this year's list, including one favored by TV and radio traffic reporters: "delay due to an earlier accident." As the nominator put it, "Is that to distinguish it from a delay caused by an accident yet to occur?" Or, how about "sworn affidavit"? If it's not sworn, it's definitely not an affidavit. I swear. Then there's "forewarn." Might seem preferable to warning after the fact. More than simple grammatical inaccuracies, the list includes lots of trite phrases most of which were meaningless even before they became pop jargon. From the current list, consider "functionality." The word is used a lot in high-tech circles when people don't know how to explain what's so totally unique about their product. "It has upgraded functionality," a salesman will say, meaning that it does something. Or, how about "edgy"? A contrivance for ultra-trendy, the list makers suggest that the word be limited to descriptions of "physical things that have edges, such as coffee tables." "It's all good" made last year's list of losers. I never could figure out what that one meant, and I wonder how many people were ripping the bumper strip off their cars in the wake of 9-11. Which brings up a subject that led this year's list of nominations. Aren't you getting tired of reading "in the wake of" to replace after? As boaters understand, sometimes we should leave no wake. As for 9-11, it's almost offensive to summarize such a hideous event in world history with cute "digitalk" (itself a prime contender for next year's list). As one nominator pointed out, "Do we refer to Pearl Harbor Day as 12-7, or the sinking of the Titanic as 4-14? This new digital language should be banned no later than 1-1-Y2K-3." Consider this a "wake-up call." Oops, that phrase made the banished list last year, along with "factoid," "fuzzy math" and "Have a good one." As the nominator of the latter explained, "I went into a store to buy some feminine-hygiene products. As I paid, the young clerk bid me farewell by saying, 'Have a good one!'... Have a good what?" At least he didn't ask her "Wuzzup?" Gay people tend to be particularly slow in putting a favorite expression to pasture. How many times do you still hear someone say, "You go, girl!" It was banished five years ago (1997), the same year we were supposed to stop saying, "Don't even go there." "It's the pits" bit the dust way back in 1990, shortly after "macho" in 1976. "Diva" made last year's list, particularly in relation to males. Puh-lease, Elton John is no diva, complained one opera buff. Neither is the guy who spends too much time primping in the mirror. "Puh-lease," by the way, was banned during the elder Bush era, around the same time as "Read my lips," "fresh-frozen," and "Yo." Fortunately, I did not find the word "camp" on any of the lists of forbidden language or my favorite phrase, "Camp talk." That would have been a "bummer" oops a "downer" oh, "frig it." I have nothing more to say. If you choose your words carefully, you can e-mail Bill Sievert at allforthecause@aol.com. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 121, No. 01, February 1, 2002. |