The Beat Goes On
The beating continues at Cape Henlopen School District. That is to say, the bullying of our vulnerable LGBTQ youth continues unabated at Cape. A community meeting was held recently at the safest of places, CAMP Rehoboth. The meeting took place to address this perpetual problem of bullying.
There were two major players at this meeting who have their own thoughts on the discussion from the evening. Linda Gregory, President of the Lower Delaware PFLAG Chapter and Tara Sheldon, CAMP Rehoboth Board member and mother of a transdaughter both lent their expertise and insight to the issues at hand. In an informal interview following the meeting, these thoughts came to the forefront.
What were the positive take-aways from the meeting? Gregory: “I am thrilled that so many people from different parts of our community came to the meeting and want to help.” Sheldon: “We have many spiritual leaders in our community who are genuinely concerned about our LGBTQ youth. There ARE resources out there, from ACLU to Equality Delaware to the Human Rights Commission. Our challenge now is to ensure that [everyone] knows how to access them.”
What were the negative take-aways from the meeting? Gregory: “I absolutely hate that the upper echelon of the schools still do not recognize the seriousness of the bully problem. I am furious that so many students suffer every day in school, at the hands of some administrators, teachers and other students.” Sheldon: “I believe the root cause of so much bullying is a lack of education, and an inability to find compassion for other human beings. Teaching both LGBTQ history and what it means to have compassion for another are a necessity.”
Was the crowd left with hope or despair? Gregory: “Probably more hope that there are ideas for helping the children.” Sheldon: “While finding some comfort in the presence of so many concerned community members, I left feeling neutral, and wondering why certain people were absent. I am hopeful, though, that everyone who came got the attention of the Superintendent, the School Board, and local and state representatives. But—as a parent who has watched her child suffer for two years now, and as one who has been targeted by adults in our community as well, every day we are stigmatized, excluded, or ridiculed is one day too many.”
As Melissa Steele noted in her report on this meeting in the Cape Gazette, only one Cape Henlopen School Board member, Roni Posner, attended as an observer, not part of the panel that led the discourse. As Steele notes, Posner an openly gay woman, remarked afterward that she “was there to listen and learn. I thought it was a very good and important meeting. I hope different groups can work together and improve what’s happening.”
This writer would feel a lot better if the Cape Henlopen Administration and other Board members expressed the same sentiment that Board Member Janis Howell expressed. “I will not ignore our LGBTQ community’s concerns...I want our schools to be places where all students feel safe and included, especially in our community, which has a dense population of LGBTQ citizens. I take pride in this diversity. I want the community to come to me so I can develop an inclusive agenda.”
Steele recounted the stories shared by several youth in attendance. [While their full names were reported in the Cape Gazette, this writer chooses to use first names only.] Adrian is a recent graduate of Cape School. “With the administration not following through, we’re left to fend for ourselves. To have an authority figure who is supposed to protect you not do anything about it even after you come to them, it’s the worst feeling.”
Madison exposed the core source of much of the bullying taking place. “I have been harassed by teachers, students, and the administration. Teachers can be bullies [also].”
John Michael echoed this dynamic. “I think we’re not addressing the elephant in the room. The bullying going on at Cape is not just student-on-student bullying. Cape Henlopen High School is the only place in the county that I can speak to—the administration and some of the faculty model bullying behavior. Maybe not overtly, but in their lack of response and their lack of support for those faculty members and students who are trying to create a safe space.”
Cape Board Vice-President Alison Myers said the district intends to hold training sessions for all staff to improve acceptance of differences and to celebrate diversity, according to Steele. “It upsets me to hear that some of our students have dealt with negative experiences in our schools,” Myers said.
Board member Jen Burton has stated, “Cape as a whole is against bullying, favoritism, racism, and homophobia. But there are a few employees who give the whole district a bad name. It’s unfortunate that the district gets painted with a broad brush when most employees working with our students are caring…and doing the right thing.”
This writer is unsure what brushes are being used in this instance, but it seems that the issues and instances of bullying at Cape Henlopen School District are being brushed under the carpet. The lack of attendance by Cape administrators speaks volumes. It is not always what is said that lends credibility, but what is shown by one’s presence.
Tara Sheldon shared her passion on this topic when she concluded, “The role adults play cannot be overstated. Parents, teachers, camp counselors, etc.—we all play a role in modeling behaviors we wish to see in our children. If adults are teaching children it is okay to not like someone or to treat them less than kindly simply because they are perceived as different, or they are otherwise not conforming to our expectations of what they should be, then the adults are the problem. We all need to look in the mirror and ask, ‘Is that how I want someone treating me or my child?’”
This writer wishes to express gratitude to Steve Elkins of CAMP Rehoboth for his leadership in making this event happen, to Melissa Steele of the Cape Gazette for use of her article, and to Linda Gregory and Tara Sheldon for their particular insight into this meeting and the issue of bullying at large. Email David Garrett