LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
For The First Time in My Life |
by Joyce Kauffman |
"For the first time in my life, I didn't have to explain my family to anyone," remarked my then thirteen-year-old daughter. "I could just be myself and not worry about how other kids were going to react or how I was going to answer their questions when they asked me, 'Why do you have two mothers?'"
That first time my daughter came to Family Week in Provincetown, she was nervous and stuck close by meher previously "boring" motherat the opening brunch. How often does a teenager do that?! I encouraged her to join the other kids who were hanging out and, eventually, she did. The connection was immediate and intenseI barely saw her for the rest of the week! For my part, I relaxed into the experience of being surrounded by lesbian mothers, gay fathers and our childrenbeing in an environment where, for once, we actually were the majority and no one questioned our existence or our right to parent. My own personal decision to have children was made over twenty-five years ago, after I realized I was a lesbian. When I became pregnant I was one of maybe three or four lesbians in my community who were having children. And, although it was certainly unique at the time, I was thrilled when my daughter was born. It has since become the norm for lesbian and gay individuals and couples to consider and often decide to have children. Of course, there have always been lesbian and gay parents, many of whom have been married and subsequently divorced but still raising their children. Just as our society would like to deny the reality that lesbian and gay people exist in every community, it would also like to deny that lesbian and gay people have been raising children throughout history. I'm a family law attorney and I can tell you that there are many gay and lesbian parents out there. Family Week is for our families. Family Week is co-hosted by two national organizations who provide support and advocacy for families with lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered parents: Family Pride Coalition and COLAGE, (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere). The Straight Spouse Network and the Human Rights Campaign's Family Net also provide some support for Family Week. This year, significant support has been received from corporate sponsors, most notably Capital One as the "Presenting" sponsor with additional support from Subaru. This is confirmation that our families are reaching critical mass in the United States, one whose needs can no longer be ignored. Family Week provides an incredibly safe and supportive space to our families, where we can have fun together with our kids, where we can learn from and provide support to one another, and where our children can feel connected to other children from families like theirs. Lesbian and gay headed familieslike all familiesdeserve this time together. And, as my daughter will tell you, Family Week is "awesome." Family Week in Provincetown, MA is August 4-10. For more information, call 619-296-0199 or 415-861-5437. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 11, No. 9, July 13, 2001. |