LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
CAMP Chat |
by Fay Jacobs |
Get Bruce!
On Aug. 15, comic/writer/raconteur Bruce Vilanch will be at the Rehoboth Convention Center to benefit CAMP Rehoboth. Bruce comes to us from Hollywood, where he was once the quickest wit on Hollywood Squares. On Broadway he's played Edna Turnblad in Hairspray and is known as the best and most outrageous comedy writer in the business. He's written for Bette Midler, Whoopi Goldberg, Lily Tomlin, Billy Crystal and other superstars. Letters feature editor Fay Jacobs interviewed Bruce and here is the result! FJ: Hey, Bruce, have you even heard of Rehoboth Beach? If yes, what have you heard, if no, what are you picturing? BV: I picture a scenic, quaint, tranquil spot filled with men with very short haircuts because they work in government in Washington and they are risking their security clearance anytime they appear in anything briefer than board shorts. Friends of mine with high sexual appetites always tell me it's not Fire Island. Friends with low sexual appetites...well, I have no friends with low sexual appetites. FJ: We can't wait to spend some time with you in Rehoboth. Can you clue us in a little bit about what to expect from your show? BV: I strip. It works for Bruno; it works for me. My show is full of stories about my escapades among the rich and untalented, and the poor and gifted, and how some of the former become the latter and vice versa. Also it's full of dish about people more famous than myself, and some outrageous jokes. And my legendary impression of Chastity Bono, which is getting more realistic by the day. FJ: Lots of folks remember you from Hollywood Squares, saying totally outrageous things that went over most people's heads. Can you remember any things you weren't allowed to say? How much was off the cuff and how much scripted...if you are allowed to tell. BV: I was also the head writer, so a lot of the head was scripted. But we had the most fun when we just riffed. The only note I ever got was when they asked which contestant looked better dressed as a hot dog and I asked if the winner could rest between my buns. Somehow the visual made them actively uncomfortable in certain southern states. FJ: Did you enjoy playing the role of Edna in Hairspray? Did you do it on the West Coast and Broadway? Got stories? I've lived in Baltimore so I take that show personally for many reasons. BV: I was Edna for two years, the first in 14 cities across America, including Los Angeles and San Francisco, the second on Broadway. It was phenomenal and I loved doing it eight times a week. It pressed some obsessive compulsive disorder button I never knew I had. Even if you didn't feel like doing it, the moment you walked onstage the audience lifted you up, I don't know if that happens when you do Medea and you have to kill your children and drag their corpses around the stage. I understand why some actresses might go crazy doing that twice on Saturdays. We premiered the tour in Baltimore, by the way, during hurricane Irene, which flooded downtown and closed the theatre. John Waters arranged it all. He may be the most powerful man in show business. FJ: We know that you are the go-to guy for comedy writing from the wings for the Oscars, Emmys and Tonysso that the host can come and make some hilarious "ad libs" about what has gone on already on the show. Can you tell us some of your favorite incidents and lines? How do you come up with that hilarious stuff so fast? BV: Panic is the mother of invention. You want to keep this biggest of all live shows alive, so you write on the spot. It's terrific fun. I did the Billy Crystal script-toss when Jack Palance did the one-armed pushups. I also was with Steve Martin when the crew began booing Michael Moore and Steve came out and said, "Tender scene backstage. The crewmembers are helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his car." I get mistaken for Michael Moore a lot. Some people kiss the hem of my robe, others want to deck me. The question is...why am I wearing a robe while going through airport security? FJ: I saw you quoted online with "Richard Nixon makes me laugh." Really? Please tell me why. And who makes you laugh these days? BV: Nothing is funnier than failed seriousness, especially when performed by self-righteous people. Sarah Palin is the current record-holder. She is just a dead bang scream doing almost nothing at all. Nixon was just the most pathetically funny creature when he attempted to convince you he was being honest and it was clear to Helen Keller that he was as phony as a kosher Chinese restaurant. FJ: What's your favorite of all your many career titles? Screenwriter, comedy writer, actor? Author? Documentary subject? Why? BV: Inspirations for HBO's new series Hung. FJ: In a later issue, we're running a review of your hilarious book Adventures in the Skin Trade to promote this performance, too. Was the publishing world fun for you? The jury is still out for me. How did your book signings go? Do you wish you'd written DaVinci Code instead? I know I do. BV: I'm actually writing another book, this one from the ground up. The last was a collection of previously-published stuff. I want this to be a David Sedaris kind of tell-some, partially fact, partially fiction. I'm toying with calling it How I Wrote The Four Worst Television Shows Of All Time, as I appear to have done that in between winning Emmys. They were all big variety shows I wrote many years ago when all of us were chemically altered and they have now come back, thanks to YouTube, to bite all of us in our spreading asses. FJ: Serious question: What do you think the LGBT community should be doing to advance equality in the U.S. We call Rehoboth Gayberry, RFD, but it's a big country out there. Can you offer advice? Okay, can you just make us laugh to forget? BV: The single most important thing anyone can do is still merely coming out...to family, to co-workers, to the government. The more visible we are, the faster we will secure those civil rights which are ours but which we cannot claim if we remain in the closet. I know that's easy for me to say because I am in the kind of industry where individuality and eccentricity are prized, and nobody cares if I can kiss the girl on a big screen, but no matter what you do, it's important to live an authentic life. The rest of the world will respect you if you respect yourself. Maybe not instantly, but soon. It was forty years between Martin Luther King and Barack Obama. Nothing happens overnight. But nothing happens at all if we hide. And a lot of people remain hidden. FJ: What else do you want to share with usanything at allI mean we really want people to know that we're hosting a celebrity here. Joan Rivers recently sold out the Convention Center and we want you to do better than thatstanding room only! BV: More important, did she move any of that jewelry? Because if this is a brooch-wearing crowd, I may have to whip up some new designs. FJ: Thanks, Bruce, see you soon in Rehoboth! Tickets for the 8 p.m. show on Aug. 15 are $100 for table seating that includes a post event "Meet & Greet," and general admission tickets go for $75, $50, and $25. Sponsorships are also available. Call CAMP Rehoboth at 302-227-5620 for more information. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 19, No. 09 July 17, 2009 |