LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
Gay 'n Gray |
by John D. Siegfried |
P.S. Your Cat Is Dead
With the recent accounts of the activities of Governor Sanford and Governor Palin, P.S. Your Cat Is Dead came to mind. The frenetic craziness of the lives of the Governors reminded me of the Kirkwood novela ridiculous plot with subliminal scenes of sex, subterfuge, and stupidity. P.S. Your Cat Is Dead, a 1970 play written by Jimmy Kirkwood, who also wrote the book for the Broadway hit musical, A Chorus Line, is set in New York on New Year's Eve. Jimmy, an out of luck actor who's just been ditched by his girlfriend, returns to his apartment and interrupts a burglary in process. Jimmy subdues the burglar and, to teach him a lesson, ties him up to the kitchen table, and begins torturing him. The scene and the relationship, take on a different dimension when the burglar confesses he is gay. In the midst of the action, Jimmy's former girlfriend and her New Year's Eve date show up at the apartment. They find Jimmy chatting with the bare bottomed robber tied to the kitchen sink. Jimmy's trying to get material for a novel, so he says. Tennessee, Jimmy's cat named after Tennessee Williams, in the meantime has died in a neighborhood animal hospital, which, as the title suggests, is the postscript to the rest of the action. When Palin and Sanford made their less than earth-shattering announcements, the only question I had was whether the 2012 GOP ticket would be Palin-Sanford or Sanford-Palin. I like Palin-Sanford better because P.S. resonates with me. And if Palin were the front runner I'm sure Karl Rove could engineer a campaign around the theme of P.S. Your Cat Is Alive. But if it were Sanford-Palin, Rove could produce a campaign based on S and P. After all, Standard and Poor has been a reliable Wall Street institution for generations. The combo of Sanford and Palin would envelope all the GOP holds dearlike honesty, patriotism, and family values. Certainly, vacating the office of governor for several days and disappearing for a sexual tryst in Argentina should qualify Sanford for higher office. And relinquishing the governorship for ill-defined personal reasons qualifies Palin for higher office as much as her ability to see Russia from her kitchen window qualifies her to be Secretary of State. Sanford can be forgiven for not remembering Wilbur Mills. After all, Sanford was only a child when Mills set a new high for sexual shenanigans in D.C. Mills represented Arkansas in Congress from 1939 to 1977. As Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee from 1957 to 1975, he was considered the most powerful man in Washington. On October 9, 1974, however, Mills was picked up on the Washington Mall at 2 a.m. for driving without lights. His car companion, Annabelle Battistella from Argentina, a stripper who preformed under the name of Fanne Foxe, jumped from the car and tried to escape by swimming across the Tidal Basin. What is it with these Argentine women? And, excuse me Bill Clinton, what is it with these Arkansas men? Despite the attendant publicity, the electorate of Arkansas re-elected Mills in November of 1974, just a few weeks after his escapade. Later the same month, on November 30, Mills went onstage with Foxe's husband at the Pilgrim Theater in Boston, a burlesque house where Foxe was performing. He followed that with a press conference from Foxe's dressing room. Shortly thereafter he stepped down as Chair of the Ways and Means Committee, joined AA, and entered rehab. The later part of his life was devoted to individual counseling of alcoholics. Sanford might learn from Mills example that there is life after public exposure and perhaps he can find a rehab center and a cause that will benefit the public outside of politics. Palin, on the other hand, might want to follow the example of Jim McGreevey, the ex-New Jersey governor who stepped down after announcing he was gay. McGreevey's now in seminary preparing for a religious vocation. I'm not awaiting a Palin announcement that she's lesbian. With five kids of her own that hardly seems likely. But she might follow McGreevey's lead and consider a religious vocation. No less an authority than Hamlet, when he told Ophelia he no longer loved her, advised, "Hie thee to a nunnery." From her Pentecostal Church to a nunnery would be quite a switch, but it would give Palin time out of the spotlight, which she says she wants. But if Sanford leaves politics and Palin enters a nunnery, there goes my GOP ticket for 2012. Karl Rove will have to come up with something bettermaybe a Cheney-Cheney ticket, Liz and Dick, or Dick and Liz. That has a certain ring to it.John Siegfried, a former Rehoboth resident who now lives in Ft. Lauderdale, maintains strong ties to our community and can be reached at jdsiegfried@comcast.net |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 19, No. 09 July 17, 2009 |