A Big Week!
If you’ve read either of my last two columns, you know they have focused on Delaware’s Civil Union bill (SB 30). Last Wednesday (May 11, 2011), our supportive Governor, Jack Markell, used a different pen to sign each letter of his full name and, after what seemed like eternity, in an instant, a bill became law. A dream for many Delawareans had become reality. The bill will go into effect on January 1, 2012.
Many things struck me that night at the Queen Theatre in Wilmington. Not only were more than 600 supporters from all walks of life in attendance, most of the House and Senate members who voted in favor of the bill were also there. Equality Delaware crafted a meaningful and symbolic ceremony from start to finish.
The highlight of the night, of course, was Governor Markell’s address and the signing of the bill. Eloquent as ever, upon finishing his remarks, he invited the children in attendance to sit on the stage in front of him at the signing table. It was an incredibly touching an inclusive gesture.
Several weeks prior, at the bill filing Press Conference on the steps of Legislative Hall, the Governor also made reference to family, and how they come in different packages, gay, straight, adopted, by blood, by choice, extended families, another great message.
While Eric and I have never had kids, we’re very much involved in the life of my 10 year old godson, Calder. To him, we’re both uncles, two people in his extended family who love him unconditionally, who will always be there for him.
On a personal note, as much as my involvement with SB 30 has been about Eric and my relationship, it’s also been about the future, and generations to come. It’s been about working to ensure that kids grow up in a world with more acceptance and less prejudice, regardless of sexual orientation, theirs, ours, or anyone’s.
By now, you may be wondering why I called this column, “A Big Week.” Just the day before the signing, I was mentoring my three high school students from Cape Henlopen High School, Molly, Sammy, and Ramsel. I spend about 90 minutes a week with them sharing stories, talking about life, school, sports, college, family, etc.
I got involved with the Mentor Program after participating in Challenge Day last December. I wrote about it here, in the first issue of this season. It was one of the most memorable and meaningful experiences of my life, teaching kids about diversity, tolerance, acceptance, etc.
Part of the school’s Positive-Behavior Support Program, this year there are just 25 students and eight mentors involved. While many more students would like a mentor, there simply aren’t enough to go around.
As part of a recent interview with the Cape Gazette, fellow mentor, Mona Schwartz, definitely put it best, “people should be lined out the door to do this.” I couldn’t agree with you more, Mona. If interested, please contact Guidance Counselor Terri Sutton at 302-645-7711. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Back to my story…on this particular day, Molly had Driver’s Ed, so I was sitting with the boys. There was a lull in the conversation, and being the star athlete he is, Sammy hits a question out of the park, “So Chris, why don’t you talk about any girls in your life?”
As many of you can surely relate, the “coming out” conversation doesn’t always go as expected. And for me, I haven’t had one of those talks in a long time. This, however, was a special case. I had thought about this moment a lot over the last few months, and had decided that when the time was right, it would happen, naturally. So here it was.
After a rather long pause, I told the boys, “I’m gay.” Sammy’s first response was, “I didn’t see that coming, even in that pink polo.” After a good laugh, I assured them this was something I took very seriously and wanted them to know I would understand if they had a concern and preferred another mentor. I told them, “I think the world of both of you and respect you very much.”
Without skipping a beat, Sammy says, “Why would I want to do that?” Once again, for the second time in two days, in an instant, I felt validation and acceptance. It was a wonderful feeling.
Coming out to Sammy and Ramsel adds yet another memory from the spring of 2011, a season I will treasure for years to come. Important to note, I had come out to Molly at Challenge Day, and Eric and I have become close friends with her and her mother, Kathy. I’ve no idea how long these kids will be a part of my life, but I hope it’s a very long time.
The Governor was right, families do come in all packages, and extended families can be just as important as our birth families. So, yes, there were two really big events for me last week, and I couldn’t be more proud to have shared both of them with you.
Now the fun starts. Many people have asked if Eric and I have set a date for our big day. After 22 years waiting, one would think we’d have been ready with that answer, but we decided months ago to wait until all was said and done. And now it is.
While we’ve started talking about our plans, one thing is certain, there will be three additional guests on our list that I wouldn’t have expected just a few months ago. Thank you, Molly, Ramsel, and Sammy. I’m very grateful for your presence in my life.