A few days later, Im waiting at the restaurant, and five minutes late, he shows up. We talk. Then we talk some more. Its obvious there is a strong vibe between us, some sort of connection. I think to myself, "God, he is beautiful." After dinner, we take a walk on the beach near the summer cottage I was renting by Oak Avenue. We pull the lifeguard stand closer to the water, climb on top, and thats when I ask him, "How do you know, when you meet someone, and you think you could fall in love, if its right?" He looks at me and says, "Youll see an angel in their eyes, youll feel like youve known them, somehow, and therell be a fire in your heart." Sold!
We walked back to the cottage. During dinner he had told me that he had tested positive for HIV several years ago. I was negative and extremely paranoid about safe sex. He understood, and we found a way of making love that was incredible. We touched, kissed, and looked inside each other and had some of the best sex Ive had in years. The man was an artist with his hands.
So, we dated throughout the summer. He lived here full time. I stayed up north and came down only a few days a week. We had some good days, some bad. There was not a day that I didnt ask him, "Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?" He wasnt use to the compliments but knew I was for real.
As summer ended, I wrote down a few words about what he had told me on Oak Avenue beach. I made a song out of his thoughts, and played it for him. He liked them. Summer came to an end, and I packed up my beach cottage, kissed him and headed home. As I traveled around that fall, I tried calling him several times. I always got his message machine. He was a vagabond at heart, so I wasnt surprised he wasnt home. I know he tried to call me back once. My machine took the call.
Months later, a friend of his called to tell me that he had died of AIDS, suddenly, back home in Ohio. "I didnt know he was so sick," I said. " It was a big surprise to all of us," his friend assured me. "Therell be a memorial service at the Blue Moon. Can you make it?" I told him Id be in Europe, and would not be able to attend.
So there I am walking across one of the bridges in Amsterdam crying my eyes out, and then I am hitching a cab back to the airport to make it home in time for his service. It cost me a fortune to leave Europe earlyplane and hotel fare changes, etc.but then I was with a large group of his friends and family talking about the years they had known him. I had only known him three months.
I walked to Oak Avenue where he had told me his answer to my question about love. I swore he came to me, and told me heaven was pretty cool, and that we waste our time on petty shit down here on earth. I got the chilling feeling that the words to my song would start a whole new life for me.
Two years later, I'm singing the words, and telling this story to a beautiful blonde. This time its a woman. She books concerts at a large performing hall in Florida. "I love it," she says. "Lets do a show based on the song. Ive got a grant for writers each year, and Id love you to bring these words to the stage." Hmmmm. In 1998, in a performing hall in Florida, his wordshis giftwill come to life.
I miss him. Theres a tree with his name underneath it planted now near Lambda Rising. Theres also a place on the Oak Avenue beach where an amazing moment happenedtwo gay men fell in love on a straight beach in Rehoboth.
So, to those of you searching for love this summer, I give you his words. I hear there is more than one angel walking around town these days, looking to be recognized. For those who have already found one, whether be it in your boy/girl friend, or within yourself, heres to love...and to Oak Avenue.
ANGELS
With Moonlight shining down across the ocean And the silver stars shining from above I remember how I looked at you and asked you If you knew what it felt like to fall in love You looked at me with eyes bluer than the ocean and your hair, the color of the sun I remember how you looked through me and smiled and said, "When it happens, youll know theyre the one"
CHORUS:
Youll see an angel in their eyes, Youll feel youve known them all along Youll feel a fire in your heart, Youll know its where you belong Youll feel lucky that you found each other, knowing there could be no other one Theyll be Angels all along
I remember the first time I made love with you Holding your face inside my hands Telling you how beautiful you were to me Wondering if youd ever understand?
Thank-you for telling me you love me Thank-you for opening my heart Thank-you for the subtle understanding That angels are never far apart
Tho we travel different roads, were still together Nothing can ever change the way that feels Thank you for the subtle understanding That angels, like lovers can be real
1997 Notes From A Beach Boy
The summer was over, cooler winds were blowing, and I hit the road.
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7/25/97 Issue. Copyright 1997 by CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. All rights reserved.