So there I am, up against that pole..you know the one, and Im talking to a friend and in walks Mr. Beautiful. No... Mr. Unbelievable. He has his back towards me, and is standing with a group of friends, laughing, and so forth. He has a small tight pony tail, and a very sexy black top that highlights his small but muscular back. Great ass. His profile, when I can catch a glimpse of it, is angular and smooth. Nice! I want it. I point Mr. Unbelievable out to my friend. "Yummm". "Youre a pig" he says. "You dont even know what his face looks like." "So?" I reply.
"Go over to him, and say hello" my friend says." No way". Thats another thing I have never understood.. We have the balls to look right through a guy, and make eye contact with him, making sure he knows were interested, but do we ever go up to them? Nah.. "let him come up to me" I think. But Im impatient. Still the crowds too thick, and hes with some friends, and I dont need the rejection etc., etc. So I wait. I watch. Im the tiger watching my prey, getting ready for my attack.
"God isnt he beautiful?" I ask my friend. "Not really. He looks too fem for me" he says. True, we have different types in men. "I dont like ponytails" my friend comments.. Im tired of hearing him bitch about not meeting any "quality" men at "the bars", and his nasty uncalled for comment about my Mr. Unbelievable being fem, so I decide to show him how the games played.
I make my move. I walk slowly (is there another way on a Friday night at the Moon) toward Mr. Unbelievable. Im a few inches away, and I take the deep breath. "Excuse me, I wanted to introduce myself..." Mr. Unbelievable turns around to face me. "Hi...Im Katherine".
Oh my god..its Pat. My friend meanwhile is pissing in his pants, laughing so hard.
How the hell was I suppose to know Mr. Unbelievable was a lady with a well developed back, slick hair, and a great ass. I make some stupid comment. Its obvious that Ive mistaken her for a him. I slink back through my fellow sardines, back to where my friend is standing by the pole.
"Shut the f... up" I tell him. Hes laughing so hard, I start to laugh myself. "Do we need a little lesson in the difference between man and woman sweetheart?" he asks. I look towards the back door, thinking its time to call it an evening, and I see this big guy, a Golds Gym tank top, and mustache staring at me. "Now THATS a man" my friend says.
I have to admit. I was thrown by Mr. Unbelievable. I also remained flaccid for two days. My poor ego has been bruised. Boo hoo. I tell my friend, "Im leaving".. I walk out of the Moon towards Java Beach and back to my room. I remember the days when I dated women. Seems like a long time ago. I smile. "Well," I tell myself.. "at least you can still pick the ladies".
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8/22/97 Issue. Copyright 1997 by CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. All rights reserved.